Only seven sleeps to go until our wedding in the rainforest underneath the spectacular Mungalli Falls. Both ceremony and reception are focused on children and we have several adventure based activities organised for the children. Last night, partner and I were going through music choices. Many songs were discarded because of the foul language and suggestive sexual adult content.
Discarding obscenities amused me. I swear like a trooper (it's an Aussie thing I think) but here I was tossing aside tracks that contain any inappropriate language or overt sexual references. What was going on? Am I really getting old and conservative like my kids have suggested?
It's about boundaries: physical and psychological. I have a fence around language I use when I'm with the gaggle and language I use when I'm around children. I do this because I accept that there are inherent differences between children and adults. I accept that I am the adult and it is my job to care for kids, not harm them.
Sexual predators and physical abusers of children do not have this boundary fence. Unable to delay their own gratification of breaking through the fence, they manipulate, lie, use and abuse. They desensitize and invest heavily in lead up behaviours: words or touches that may appear innocent but still leave the recipient feeling yucky. They will use language from popular culture - music, T.V, movies, and fashion - to further trick our children into thinking that the slimy predatory behaviours are normal, based in what everybody does, watches, wears and listens to.
There is no way that we will entertain inappropriate lyrics that children at our wedding may fall innocent victim to. There is no way that we would entertain anything that may potentially harm children at our wedding - including keeping kids safe around the waterfall. All we are doing is drawing the line in the sand and sticking with what we believe in as a family: child protection is serious business no matter where we are or what we may be doing.
Everybody has different lines in the sand but those lines generally have a great deal of thought put into them. Lines though, mean different things to different people and sometimes talking about those lines and why they are drawn where they are is the best way for others to know where your boundary is. Even bloggers talk about clear boundaries around what they will say/not say on their posts. Comments that require moderation prior to going live displays that the host has a psychological boundary and will probably not tolerate some comments. I particularly like the disclaimer found on Finding Your Marbles A Mental Health Survival Guide: "...Please do not force me to have to edit or remove your comments. No Spam please. Your mature and responsible replies are greatly appreciated by all. Thank you."
What's your boundary line around child protection and how do others know where it is?
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