Christine Aguilera grew up in a home where the dynamic was domestic violence rather than domestic bliss. Witnessing her mother beat up by her father, Christine stated that she received a few hits as well.

Hiding in music and singing as a way to block out emotional pain, fear and chaos, Christina Aguilera learnt to dissociate at a very young age. Today with her grueling schedule, constant reinventing of herself and amazing creativity, Christina may still be displaying the signs of dissociation.

Domestic Violence is child abuse. Child witnesses of parental violence frequently dissociate to survive. Typically, they will do one of two things when exposed to one parent beating the other:

1. Run to the abused parent and cry, “Leave my Mummy/Daddy alone”, or


2. play quietly and act as though nothing is happening.

Either of these coping strategies places the child at greater risk of harm and is child abuse in action.

Whereas Christina Aguilera has channeled her talent and the affects of child abuse into her successful career, many child witnesses of domestic violence are not as lucky. Subconsciously prepared to tolerate abuse, child witnesses often grow up with reorganized thoughts about abuse equaling love. The remorse and buy back phases of the domestic violence cycle are so strong, appealing and convincing that child witnesses unconsciously seek out relationships where they are sure to experience the “love” of meaningful relationships. These relationships are frequently laced with the tactics of power and control and the adult child relives their parent’s abusive experiences.

Witnessing domestic violence is tantamount to living in a war zone and many child witnesses present with symptoms similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We do not send our children to war. Why do we allow our children to grow up in one?

If you are experiencing any forms of domestic violence (physical, verbal, emotional and financial), help is available. It is possible to break the cycle and give your children the life they deserve. Ring a help service today. A problem shared is a problem halved.

In Australia ring: Violence Against Women, Australia Say's No 1800 200 526

In the U.S. ring: National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), 1-800-787-3224 (TDD)

In the U.K ring: 24-hour National Domestic Violence helpline, 0808 2000 247

Reach out for help. Please do not be a child abuser by attempting to keep things calm and your children safe. Domestic violence is child abuse.

Articles of interest around child witnesses of domestic violence: