7:36 am
Megan Bayliss
Yesterday I yelled, and swore, at my child because he would not come Christmas shopping with me. As soon as I did it, I wanted to take the words and volume back. I wanted to reverse the damage I knew I had caused. I cannot. The damage is child abuse and child abuse is lasting.
Keen to ensure that I knew I had hurt him, my child screamed back at me. He cried and he said, “I thought you were supposed to be on the side of kids.” I felt dreadful.
Parents get stressed; parents do often lash out verbally at their kids. However, there is no excuse for abuse. Provocation from our children does not equal child abuse as an acceptable means of discipline.
My child has Aspergers. He tests us to the limit because we are not adult or strong enough to remember that his behaviour is normal to him. In desperation, frustration and disempowerment, I emotionally abused my child because he was being a child with Aspergers.
Much emotional abuse to children occurs because we parents throw tantrums. Parents fail to work with their children in the child’s time frame. Busy lives, stressed finances and the pressures of Christmas turned commercial will turn many children’s Christmases into hell on earth this year.
The lesson for me yesterday was that the unequal balance of power between children and adults is enhanced by the use of adult words. My vocabulary range and intonation is far greater than my son’s and therefore a more potent weapon. I can choose to use my words to heal and help, but instead I used my toxic tongue to hurt and constipate.
No amount of apology will recover the hurt he experienced at my hands yesterday. I am the adult and I have the power to change my behaviour. I will bite my tongue when I want to lash out verbally, I will remember the hurt look on his face and I will remember that I am on the side of kids. I will use my words to help. I will think the thoughts of frustration but not allow them to slip from my lips. Nobody can read my thoughts, but my child can hear, and remember, my words.
Even though I am an advocate for protecting children, I am also a human being; a parent who needs reminding that child abuse takes many forms. It is not just sexual or physical abuse. Verbal abuse creates scars on the inside that nobody can see. Even though I am considered professional in the area of child abuse, I still need constant reminders that everything I do has the potential to hurt a child. If this is how it is for me, how much more supportive reminders do other parents require?
I share this personal confession with you because I want to help other parents cease their bad behaviours toward their children. I urge you to consider the potency of words that fall from your mouth in moments of anger. I urge you to remember that yelling, screaming, swearing and sarcasm directed toward your children are forms of emotional child abuse.
How do you stop yourself from emotionally abusing your children? By sharing your story, you may just give other parents ideas, hope and support. Together we can end child abuse: sexual, physical, emotional and neglect.
Posted in 
A Tale of Two Pies
1 week ago
63 Response to "Yelling and Swearing at Children is Emotional Child Abuse"
My wife and I hear this all summer long ! We have a neighbor with 2 children .I think the mothger is the one with the problem ! She will ask her kids to do something ,and within a minute ,she turns around cursing and swearing at them ,because they didn't do what she wanted ,right at that moment ! She does not know how to treat her children ! Her and her boyfriend think that they can make up the swearing at them by throwing parties. Those children are being scared for life ! If We had children, we would not let our children associate with them because of the language !They were brought up that way ,and that is how they treat their children ! They don't deserve to have children .Child services should take them away ! That is an example of people abusing the welfare system ! They keep pounding out children that they don't care about ,and who has to pay for it? Hard working citizens some of which can't have children ,but know how to treat them!
G'Day Ms. Bayliss,
I'm an Aspie myself, and given my experiences with impatient teachers and others, I find your message inspiring. I've linked to you here.
Stay cool,
Jeff Deutsch
I'm glad I found this website finally... tonight I said so many terrible things to my 8YO and 5YO to the level that they started crying. I divorced last August on a basis of domestic violence.
It included physical, verbal, emotional, social, spiritual, financial and in a way sexual abuse too but I did not see it that way until very much later.
My ex and I settled for money matter finally in Feb for very little money. Once I signed the paper, he started receiving money and now he seems to be a millionaire. He was hiding it overseas, I guess. That gave me s**t, but anyhow I overcame that anger and frustration. Now that he says he wants to take me to the court for the kids matter because he thinks I am not letting him see the kids enough. If he really does, then it will take all the little money he paid me for settlement will be taken away from me for the battle! This news gave me unbelievable load of stress, I did not want to do anything but sleep. While sleeping, I don't have to think, noone can hurt me... so... for the past two days I have been sleeping a lot to escape from reality.
Tonight, my kids were behaving real crazy, happy but crazy and did not listen to me at all. Then I snapped. I told them to go back to their dad. Because they stick to me, he keeps giving me stress. I can't even work becasue I have them. I said I want to get rid of you and slammed the door on them. Of course they cried. And at that very moment, I know I really meant what I said... When I calmed down, I told my son I am under huge stress because of what his father said to me, and their crazy behaviour tonight snapped me but still I can not say stuff like that. I told him if he wants to tell anyone about this, he can becasue it was really bad, He said he won't because he does not want to get me in trouble... I really hate myself for it. I can't forgive myself for saying those things to my beautiful children who love me unconditionally.
I just bought a book mark for my daughter "We are all in this together"... and what am I doing?
I have to be stronger. I can't let my anger take myself over. I can't let my ex make me do these things to my kids. I am just as bad as him.
Tomorrow morning, I just want to give them the biggest hugs and kisses. I will promise to them that I will never do that again.
They are never wrong, no matter how naughty they are. I can't take anger out on them. They are just happy children. And it is blessing.
My dad yells at my brother and I constantly whenever we do something wrong really. And he is constantly calling us "Little S***s" when we do something that maybe he doesn't like. Would this for example be emotional child abuse?
Thank you!
I know I am not in the same situation as anyone else from what I've read here, but tonight my boyfriend's 9 year old son is visiting with us and I could not have felt like a bigger donkey for this. It is hard enough that my boyfriend is still in the throws of battle over finances and visitation with his ex. I really don't want to make anything worse for him, but I fear I'm not the best with children.
Tonight, I had to speak to him once to ask him not to waste food during dinner and I thought I was understood and he was respecting my wishes until he started picking up his food and throwing it over his shoulder onto the floor. I told him that was just "f*&ing rude" and of course, heard my words a millisecond later and couldn't take it back. I realized I was heated by his lack of respect and left the room while his father dealt with it. I sat in my room tormenting myself with it trying to just calm down. It was unacceptable behaviour, but by no means justified that language. I did go back out and apologize to the child and indicated that that was not an appropriate word for me to use. He did acknowledge my apology.
Now, I feel odd being in the same room while he and his father watch a movie not knowing what the child actually thinks of what happened or what his father thinks. It did help a bit to read that humans do all make mistakes and I can remember the few times it slipped out of my parents' mouths growing up. Is it easier or harder when they are not even your own children?
I can't believe I am even writing this. I am a mother of a 4 year old boy and 23 month old girl. I am a teacher and what a thought was a very patient, kind person. Over the past several months, there have been times when my son has pushed me over the edge and I've totally lost it with him. I have never hit him, although I've been a bit rough, but the worst thing is that I have said in the heat of the moment, "You little f*ck". I can't believe I'm writing those words. People would be shocked to know I said those words to my son, I'm shocked, saddened, horrified. I said them under my breath, so I thought he couldn't hear me, but today, out comes the word from his mouth. He didn't use it in the right context, but it shocked me beyond belief. What did I expect would happen? I can't believe I have done this to my own child. I have NEVER acted like this before. I taught kids, and some really tough kids, and NEVER lost my cool. Why now? Anyway, I feel guilty beyond belief and so deafeted. I am experiencing so much pressure - money issues, no help, no relief..maybe that's why I've lost it like this on occasion. I wonder if I'm alone or if other parents have lost it like this, too. I talked with my husband tonight and am going to try some new coping techniques for when my son goes into these over-tired episodes and gets crazy.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I know I will never say anything like this again, or allow myself to lose my cool to this extent...
It's true that verbal abuse can create scars no one sees. While I love and respect my parents, looking back, there have definitely been times when our relationship was tested. I'm 18 years old, and growing up, my mom always swore at me and my two siblings, if she was upset or we didn't listen, etc. In retrospect, obviously we needed the discipline sometimes. But I'm always going to remember how I preferred getting spanked/slapped to getting sworn at. Because with spanking, the pain goes away after a while. With swearing, a child's self esteem can get shattered, leading to depression, and a persistent belief that you're never good enough for anything. There have been amazing times as well as awful fights. But I know I'm never going to swear at my kids. Also, the more a parent swears/criticizes, the more the child hardens toward that parent. It's even worse when the parent who doesn't usually swear gives in. With my mom, I was pretty used to it, even though it stil hurt. But I'll never forget the one day my said "f*ck you." to my face. It was worse because he was supposed to be the nice one, the one who could stay calm. Even though he apologized the day after, and tried to explain himself, I'm never going to forget. So my relationship to both of them changed after that. I talked to them less and less, had a very "whatever" attitude towards them, spent time with my friends more. Even now that I'm in college, I hardly call them. it's not the happy relationship like before, and if we ever do argue (rarely now), and they swear, I swear right back at them. it's like anything they say doesn't really matter. But they are still family, so I guess I can always trust them.
Thanks for all these comments. Over the autumn, I swore several times at my 17 year old daughter. Whatever I may say, there was no justification. I was and am the father / adult; I was the one who lost emotional control. After a period of self-reflection, I wrote a note to apologise and to commit never to do it again. Of course the damage is done and I only hope that over time, some of our previous good relationship can be recovered albeit it will never be the same as before.
I am a single parent, worked as in schools sometimes wit young children. When my own child was misbehaving or suborn, I would talk, shout, then swear.
He is now 21, lacks confidence and I am laddled with so much guilt.
He says he forgives me and mostly I forgive myself. I can not believe I did this. I though I was a nice person. Despite my verbal outbursts I did all I could for him as a mother.Apart from shut up, when he needed me too.
Where did I get this behaviour from. My mother taught me I think. As my sibbling tells me sometimes mom was horrible to her.
Where can I get help from. We both need it.
I don't know y'all personally, but can I say that you arn't all the big bad parents ye'all think ye are. While I don't agree with hitting, shouting or swearing at children due to my own experiences with my mother - compared to her I GAURUNTEE there is worst child emtional abusers out there than ye all. You are all parents that are allowed to make mistakes. Its when you don't learn from these and change is when ye'all have to feel like child abusers. The worst thing you could do to your child is degrade or humilate them - that will leave scars. The fact you are all writing on this blog is acknowledging your wrongs.
my parents make me do the chores. i live the life of a house wife chhild sister and student all in one. my mom is an unaware pill head and my step dad a functioning alcoholic. it used to be a mix of physical and verbal but now its verbal. if i cook wrong im criticized. if im sick im criticized. if im overwhelmed im criticized. if im doing 5 things at once and tey arent saticfied im criticized i barely leave my home and cant hide in my room i am a slob even tho im ocd. im a crybaby because i cant bottle up or i go back to cutting wen i was cutting it was for attention im ungrateful. and a dumbfuck!!!!!!!!!!! i have so much anger from it all my fiance has to buy me tampons and bras so they can have wat they want how do i fix myself please god help me 93 more days but i dont think i can do it is this emotioal abuse or is it normal?
this is in response to the comment from annonymous dated 20th January. Firstly, what you are dealing with at home is not normal. Secondly please seek help. I am not sure how old you are but if you have a fiance you must be a little older than a child. You are a strong girl and you should be proud of yourself. None of this is your fault. They are the ones with problems and they sound very unhappy with themselves. Keep your head held high, one day you can look back and be even stronger from what you experienced. Promise you will fight for yourself and demand the respect you deserve. When you can
you should get out and let them know how valuable you really are by your absence.
It is hard to read these comments and know that I have been in these situations. I have a four year old and two year old. Both beautiful smart girls and I keep loosing my cool with them; especially the two year old. I yell and I have said some terrible things. I hate to think that I have caused them some horrible damage. I am such a quiet person normally..I feel like such a bully to them. Everyday I pray to be patient and kind and to do better. I just hope I don't make them hate me.
These stories are all made up right? If not then you lot really are talking a load of absolute rubbish. You have all been influenced by a warped society. I was very naughty when I was young. I got shouted at and smacked many times. I have turned out fine and I love my mother for bringing me up so well. I am married and will be having my own children. Your children will be the abusive ones we see on the streets these days, who will probably never get (or even want) a job. I have been laughing at your comments. You really have no clue do you. No point me saying any more though, because I know you will think I am talking rubbish.
I am a 28 yo mother of 3. I had my first son when I was 20 and call it postpartum or lack of patience but I hardly feel an emotional connection to him even now. I know i would do anything to protect him from harm and would not want to live without him. But I have a hard time having patience with him and not yelling and using profanity on a daily basis. Him and his little brother are now 6 and 7 and wet the bed everyday. They will pee in piles of clothes on the floor and in there trash can upstairs. For years now everyday. They do things I ask them not to do like as if they don't care..they break everything I buy them and show no effort to try and take care of anything. Since I was such a young mother and came from a home were my mom yelled and cursed at me a lot and even smacked me around from time to time..I have a father that never wanted me and was/is never around. I had very low self esteem and lost my virginity at 12 :/ I failed at highschool dropped out freshman year and have struggled financially because of it..wellfare and food stamps waitressing and now stripping. Iam so hard on them cause I don't want them to fail like I did but i m sure I'm still the one failing..I'm a very logically thinker and am an aspiring psychologist for marriage and family counseling...I know I'm scaring my children and I don't know how to stop this vicious cycle of failure..my boys r smart and I know they love me but I donnt know for how much longer...I mke myself feel better by taking them swimming,parks,movies,dinner,xbox..and I even try to explain myself and get thru to them but the calmness doesn't last long.:( there father and r married..but he comes from a family of a mother on drugs in and out of prisonn and an everyother weekend if your lucky father..he has no education but a good heart...r disfunctional childhoods r now a disfunctional marriage..I've cheated and have a little girl now 2 from another man that is not in the piicture and my husband is all she knows.he should have left me but we stayed together and he tooks his hurt out on me with physical abuse. In front of her eyes and there ears...choking punching throwing yelling life is a mess...we have worked thru the abuse and betrayal but financial struggles continue to plague our family..we r loving people and want so much to be happy I just don't see how it will ever happen...in the meantime our children are going to suffer thru all this :( ...I would like to end this by saying its not all hell..we laugh play we tryed family game night and church..we r a family that loves eachother very much and want nothing more but to function as such...at this point divine entervention or a million dollars lotto winning is what I feel it will take...help..:'(
I'm 18 years old and my dad calls me a bastard and says he hates me.
Thank you for your opinion and sharing your story. I am a mother of a 6 year old daughter with asperges and an 8 year old son with autism, life is tough, you get tired and grumpy, But that does not give you the right of passage to take your frustrations out on anybody especially your children or in front of your children!!!! I was beaten and abused as a child, so were my siblings they didn't heal from the trauma until they reached their thirties, actually 2 of them still have major chips on their shoulders, I am the eldest and have grown up fine and a long time ago! I'm now in my 40's, my childhood does not affect me other than knowing that exposing your children to verbal, emotion and physical abuse is not how you are supossed to protect your children, or teach them. What would happen if your boss screamed at you, swore at you or hit you?
It may be helpful for you to seek counseling, your comments are hostile, degrading, and abusive, and you seem to be the the minority, that says a lot. Good luck
Sorry this reply was ment for the person a few comments down, you'll know who I mean when you read it
His dad probably said the same to him, perhaps he knows no different. Next time he says it, say, dad you must be really angry to say that to me? It really hurts my feelings when you say you hate me. Then walk away and say nothing. It will be interesting to see if he changes a little. The key is walking away. He will think about what you have said. Good luck
I am a 33 yr old with 2 boys 12 and 10 from a previous marriage. I am remarried and pregnant with my 3rd child. My Ex husband informed me he thinks I am abusing emotionally. I tried when they were younger diferrent kinds of displine which never seemed to work so resulted in spanking them. Then yelling at them as they have gotten older. They do chores around the house and are latchkey kids. yell at them when they fight to much and have sweared at them sometimes as well. Since me Ex has said that to me it has made me feel like the worst parent in the world, because I make them do chores and mow the lawn and take out trash etc. I have 2 very good boy very loving ang caring and really friendly to almost all people. My younger sone has wet the bed for 4 yrs now and that is what my ex blames for abuse. I have done research on myself and the bed wetting and have come to a long list of it could be's. I was abused verbally as a child and have had abuse from my ex as well in verbal. I always told myself when I had my kids I would not treat them the way I was treated now I feel as if I am. My kids get comliments from school on their behavoir and I praise them as often as I can on everything they do grades,learning how to cook,mowing the yard,cleaning there rooms etc. I have always told them they do a good job. With all that my ex said to me it makes me think that I am abusing them but I thought I was teaching them important life skills they needed to learn. the last yr hasa been tough we moved twice and 2 different schools and now we bought a house and are staying. My kid were upset about moving and when I got pregnant it has been a hard adjustment for me I did not want another child, but have come to accept this new baby as a loving parent. In respect to all of this I still ask myself everyday if I have cause my children so much pain that my ex accuses me of abuse. or is this just more abuse from him due to me being married again and having a new baby?? I am in a pit with myself because of this.
I am a married 37 year old father of 4. And I have always had a short temper. And deal with frequent bouts of depression. I grew up with working alcoholic parents who eventually divorced. Blah blah blah. No bullshit excuses. I am a lousy person. My 5 year old daughter in my eyes is a total pain in the ass. She doesn't listen to anything my wife and I tell her. She will not clean up after her self she throws tantrums at the drop of a hat. We both verbally abuse her on a daily basis. And some would consider physical as well. Bruises on her arm from grabbing her or squeezing her arm to get her attention. After I calm down from MY temper tantrum I feel extreme remorse and will apologize to her. Hug and kiss her and things are fine.... For me. She displays love and affection no matter what which is what makes me feel even more like a total pice of shit person. I will not speak for my wife and how she feels. As that is on her. But she and I are a match made in hell. We both love our children and will do anything for them but we both get so stressed and stingy with our time. We have a really hard time with the behavior outbursts we are too concerned with how our daughter appears in public. We don't want one of those kids that acts up. The only excuse I feel is acceptable at least in my situation is that I NEED HELP. My child is not the problem. I AM the problem. My 14 year old son from previous marriage will spend all of his time in his room. He just doesn't want to be around the anger and unhappiness. I just wish I could control my anger. We now have a newborn and I see the pattern starting with her. The anger we display if she wakes up in the middle of the night. With this addition, my wife has chosen not to return to work. As it would financially not make sense. So I now have the stress of being the only one working. I have picked up extra hours. I now average 65 hours a week so needless to say more stress. I'm rambling now, trying to justify my actions towards my children but I can. Plain and simple my wife and I should not have kids. We can not properly handle our situation and our children are going to suffer and that is not right. She and I are the problem. Not a 5 year old that wants to go outside and play. Not a 14 year old that just want to play a school sport and certainly not a 7 week old baby that wants to eaT. I am a total failure a a parent and person.
Hello,
I'm really sorry about your situation.
First off, CONGRATULATIONS on recognizing what you're doing and taking responsibility for it.
Next - cursing yourself out is not going to make your children's lives any better. Fixing your behavior will.
Speaking as a new parent myself (newborn girl), and having seen and read about the good, the bad and the ugly, I believe one of the most important parts of parenting is knowing what you can and cannot reasonably expect of each child.
Not only is every child a unique individual, but also in general children in one age group can do things much more easily than children in a younger age group.
For example, a school-age child - but especially a teenager - can be held responsible for either sleeping through the night or at least not waking you up unless absolutely necessary.
A baby cannot - he or she is totally helpless and dependent on you to feed him/her and change his/her diapers. Not to mention given how little a baby can "eat" at one time and how quickly it digests what it can eat, these needs must be satisfied every few hours...babies can't wait till the morning the way school-age children and even some toddlers can.
There are of course other aspects to good parenting, which I myself don't know all about and even if I did they wouldn't all fit here. Have you considered taking a parenting class? Here in the United States school districts and others sponsor parenting classes - most often for those like yourself who already have children...you might ask around and see if such classes are available where you live.
Also, think about joining parents' support groups - either if they're labeled as such or just groups that happen to include many parents you can share experiences and trade tips with.
You might also like to read Erma Bombeck's famous funny books about raising a family. Having just re-read a few of her best after a decades-long break, I can now much better appreciate some of her wisdom.
Finally, if you can afford it - maybe even if you can't - a little support like a good babysitter or even a part-time nanny or housekeeper can be a lifesaver...perhaps even literally! One of the most important ways you can get stressed out badly is if you don't get enough sleep...someone who can give you even a little respite sometimes can be worth his/her weight in gold!
Good luck!
Jeff Deutsch
I am ashamed to admit I call my daughters a bunch of names. I have severe anxiety and anything small effects my mood and i fly off the handle. I will turn around and buy my kids every thing they want out of guilt. I actually went as far as telling my 18 year old about my whole entire childhood and told her things I have said to her are not her fault because I had a bad childhood and I took it out on her. I told her to hopefully get her to understand its not her, its me that is sick. And i say sorry every time but its not right for me to say the things that I say. Like my childhood trama will make them understand why I am a crazy b*%ch. Then whatever they ask for I buy them. Now my younger teen yells at me all the time and bullies me( i deserve it) but I wish she was a nicer person all around because I feel like I ruined her. I am so sad over this. How to i repair this now. I havent said anything mean in months because I am trying to hard to change and be a close family. What can I do. My younger teen has severe social anxiety all because of me.
i'm not a parent, but i am a kid. my dad constantly fights with me, yells at me and tears me apart every chance he gets & for the most part i do nothing wrong. i'm 17, i have a job and i graduate early and plan on going to college. most recently, my dad spread horrible rumors about my mother being a prostitute and told me i was whore just like her because i stood up for her by simply saying he was no better. to his defense he told me i was going to do nothing in life except lay on my back to get what i need because that is all she taught me.. he then took my car and cell phone and now refuses to pay or buy me anything that i need yet he refuses to let me leave his house. i'll be 18 in four months and plan on leaving and never looking back. watch what you say to your kids, because even though my dad treats me the way that he does & this isnt the first for name calling and i resent him, i've never wanted nothing more than to be daddy's little girl.
Hi. I'm a mom of a 5 year old boy, and a 3 year old girl. My son is the most handsome boy, with a smile that melts your heart. Yet, I have been going through this thing with him where he absolutely does not listen, or he protests just about everything I ask of him...like helping me, or putting his jacket in the closet, etc. Most of the time I give him 3 chances to listen, then I yell and send him to time out. Today he wanted help learning how to zip up his new winter jacket, while I was trying to help him he was wiggling all over and really trying to make it difficult for me. I asked him to stop so I can help him. He was looking right at me, I know he heard me because he did stand still. Then when I started to put the zipper together, he laughed and wiggled so much I couldn't get it together. I yelled at him, and told him he could do it his freakin' self and that if he asks me for help that I'm never going to help him again if he is going to behave like that. The second after that, he looked so sad. I couldn't take back what I said, and by the time it registered that I was completely out of line, he was on his bus off to school. My heart aches, my gut hurts, that I am in this space that I as the adult have the choice to change, yet find myself at my wits end how to be patient and do just what it takes to get things back on track with my son. I love him, and don't want him to grow up to hate me, and not want to be close with me. When he comes home today after school, I will apologize to him and give him the biggest hug.
Thank him for making my wish true! I was totally devastated when beloved lover left me. It was like all my world vanishing into sorrow and pain. But therapist Oniha of the samodaspellhome@gmail.com kind words when I first emailed him gave me hope. I felt how sincere, honest and authentic he was from his first email. I know it sounds weird but out of all the casters I contacted, he was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and caring. More than his words, it s the fantastic work he accomplished for me that I will keep in mind. He brought my lover back and he made all my wishes come true. He s now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema and the restaurant even though we have food at home. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! i believe who need help should get to him for help.
My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but i decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then i went online there i saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com so i had to contact him and in just 4days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to.
I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, i am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again is: agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com
When does one call authoritys when you are witness to such things on a continuing basis?
Call me a bad parent but I don't feel swearing is bad when expressing emotion. I actually find it healthy. My kids are in elementary and middle school and I allow them to swear, "My day was fucking awesome mom!",or, "Shit, I forgot my homework!". We don't do the church- God thing, so we don't believe we will be going to hell, and we get many comments from others of how great our family is. I actually went to college and had professors that constantly swore, we even did a study and found that type A personalities swear, while lesser personalities don't. Therefor, I don't feel like swearing affects the future of children. If one of my kids is being a total jerk to the other one I say, "Stop being an asshole." If they are having problems in a class I say, "What the hell is going on here? I want the fucking truth so we can find a solution." And we do. "Mom, she's being a bitch, can you go talk to her?" This is normal in our house. We don't hit our children, my husband and I are educated, our children are always happy and have tons of friends.
Parenting is difficult and we should never have moments when we've emotionally or physically abused a child; yet it happens. There are those parents who handle all with grace and provide only loving homes for their children and then there are those who are fighting to keep it together and becoming weakened in the fight. There is really only one major difference that can provide some salvation: if you are the parent who has acted in an abusive manner toward your child, once or several times, and you care enough, feel bad enough and want to change enough then there is hope. Sometimes all we are left with is hope. True abusers don't care enough to change, care enough to stop or question their behaviors and are content to justify their abuse... and if you do care, are trying to change and admit to poor parenting then there is hope. I never thought I'd destroy some of the joy in my sons heart, but I've spent every day of his five years raising him in a home where yelling between parents and at him is the constant...not thinking it would have a negative effect on him...not having a clue until now when I see he doesn't make friends easily, seems sad, worried that he will do something wrong, acts out... Yes, I did this to my child who was given to me whole. I suck. I'm not a good parent. I'm not an observant parent. I allowed my dislike for his father to rule our lives with all the yelling. I want to change. I don't want to fight. I have hope and clarity that our ways have been wrong. It's never to late to change, but I hope the damage can be reversed with change. I want my son to feel loved, confident, nutured and to make friends...and live in a happy home. What do some of us have in common: guilt, desire to change, shame and hope. Does anyone have a story that ended well with a turn-around and a happy well-adjusted child after time in a emotionally abusive atmosphere?
I am a mother who yells a swears at my children. My 11 year old does everything at a snails pace .I seem to really give it to her. It's not intentional she just gets under my skin like you wouldn't believe. I feel horrible about it right after I do it but when it comes to her I ant help it. Today was my breaking point when I really realized that I have gone too far. I told her that she's slow in everything that she does and that because she deliberately disobeys me, I hope her kids are slower than her and I hope that they never listen to a word she says. I know I am wrong, and I am going to try to get some family counseling before I scare them for life.
My dad married the only mom i have ever know when i was 3.5 years old and she spent the next 15 years physically, emotionally, and verbally abusing me. I felt inferior to my sister who she treated like a daughter. I felt lonely, worthless, and like she hated me. It has messed me up ina lot of ways. And everything that happened no matter what it was i still always just want her to be my mommy and to love me like her daughter like she dis my sister. Your post hit home even though you parent is biological and the things said are different it hit hard. I dont know if i agree that yelling at my kids (i am 26 now with 3 kids) is abuse, now there are things i do that i shouldnt even if they know i am joking and laugh with me. But i am not abusive!!! And some may say tey will never yell or swear at thier kids but if they dont have kids they dont know. I said the same thing because i was so upset when i was yelled at. But i was yelled at constantly and i mean that literally. In 15 years i have maybe 2 or 3 memories that arent full of some kind of abuse. An i am not like that, i take time after everytime my children get into trouble that i love them and that it is over and they dont need to feel like they are in trouble anymore. I feel it is extremely important not to find being a human being who overloads and yels or swears to be a problem but overcome each and everytime by reminding your child they are loved more than anything and that if they seem to still think u are upset with them that u let them know its over and and "lets not talk about it anymore thing" you hit your sister or u didnt clean your room after i asked u 10 times well you got in trouble and mommy was upset but now i would rather cuddle up and read a book or watch cartoons because it doesnt matter anymore its over. This isnt something i will ever be able to do with my past it haunts me to this day and i fear every single day i will do to them what was done to me. Which is why i make sure they know they are loved and they arent in trouble all the time but that mommy was upset because of this and now its over. But i am not abusive for getting upset when they try to walm all over me and i lose my temper. I dont even call my kids bad.... I dont say "you are being bad" i tell them i need them to listen to me because it helps mommy. If they ask "mommy was i being bad" which has only been asked once by my 6 year old and once by my almost 4 year old both around the same age that they are never bad they are great kids that i live very much But like all kids even mommy when she was little, you didnt listen to what mommy asked you to do or you were mean to your sister (whatever it was they did to get into trouble that one particular time); i just try to make sure they know there is nothing wrong with them and that i love them always no matter what.... But i yell and cuss sometimes when i have hit my threshhold for thier misbehaving. But the only thing i have ever said and it was said as a joke of thier onreyness and not even when they were in trouble i have said little shits but mostly i say onrey little turd and they giggle like mad when i say it cause i catch them sneaking up on me or stealing my chapstick (when it is t really a big deal) and we are all smiling and laughing.... But if the way i have used little shits is abuse and onrey little turd is too and i just have to say i disagree. I am human and i am not planning on spending parenting time focused on teaching my kids how i am supposed to be better than human and not ever get mad!!! And i was abused and sometimes i wish i hadnt gotten so upset. But i make up for feeling bad when i know they just got too rambunctious or thier own tempers go hold of them by letting them know i love them and am not upset with them anymore.... I may even say mommy's sorry she got so upset and then is when i usually talk about the LOVE.
About i saw a comment like this!!! Why should we teach our kids not to be human? My kids arent hurt at all and know i love them more than anything in the world
I am a proud mother of 3 and i yell and cuss, but i am not abusive in the least. I think it is natural for a parent to worry about being abusive obsessively so in alot of cases. I know i am. I was a bused so i am terrified that I will abuse. I dont believe it is wrong to say you are acting ugly, or stop being a brat, or an asshole or a jerk when they are older. Because if anything u are drawing attention to a behavior as unacceptable, u are not saying they are an asshole but that everyone can be and it is better if we arent. I also think that my kids and I are allowed to feel! If i get upset i am allowed to be upset. That means i am gonna raise my voice or cuss. I dont think spankings are wrong depending on what it is and the age of the kids, but i do not believe you should hit or beat your kids and there is a very very big difference whether "society" thinks so or not. I think most of you have anxiety issues like i do and so you are obsessed with not becoming the abuser after a childhood or life as the abusee. With in reason i believe as long as a child is reminded they are loved in ways they understand (as parent we are experts in our kiddis and know what they need to know they are loved) that we care and are proud of them for who they are becoming or for things they are doing it will be enough positive reinforcement that our emotions will be just that and nothing more than a passing scene. After i have gotten on to my kids i make sure to tell them i love them and make sure they realize it is over and they are not in trouble anymore and that we dont have to think or talk about it. I tell the how great i think they are and give them lots of positive affirming feedback and commentary but i have no problem tellim them when they are pushing thier luck And pissing me off an that is usually all i have to do and they start listening. But i never say anything negative about them Or make them feel unworthy or stupid or ugly, or humiliate them. Even though the idea of getting in trouble in front of loads of people is very motivating for good behavior when they are misbehaving and i take advantage by reminding them. I have a 6 year old who like to show off big time and if i dont rwmind her that i will have to get on to her in front of everyone if she doesnt knock it off and listen she will get to be a nuisance. She loves ppl but she thinks she is older than she is and is a show-off in the sense she tries to act like an adult and like she is too old for her mom's rules and treats me like a stranger she greatly dislikes. I am not abusive for telling her to stop being a brat and acting like my sweet 6 year old again before spank her butt in front of everyone there. Things clear up immediately and she and i end up having a great time!!!!
But I am not abusive!!! She is a happy normal kid and i am a happy normal mom which is a dream come true considering the childhood i survived and the shit i deal with still from my parents. I have had to make a lot of hard choices to protect my kids from them and the stress and guilt makes me grumpy but i make sure they know i love them more than anything and always will no matter what!!!!
Hello everyone. I have abusing problems too. I do not eish to give my age out, but i shall hint that i am just about to become a teenager. Well anyway, while my mum is loving and caring, my dad constantly abuses me in mostly emotional ways, and when i was a toddler physical ways. When i was a toddler every time i accidently stepped on his foot, or was a bit too loud, he would always spank me super hard with the news paper, while my mum was at taekwondo which is a type of karate. and when that happends, i always went to my room and cried, and waited till my mum came home. My mum always loves me and cares and thinks about me while my dad doesnt give a crap. A few weeks ago, i was doing an animation for my school human body project and i underestimated how much time it would take, and on the last minute, i was up at 9.00 doing it. i called my dad to help with a certain revording program i was using, and then he said click there, and im trying to find it and then he litterly screams so loud that thw hole house shakes, and then says there!!!!!!!! I was thinking to myself well good description dad, then he does that bit and leaves the rest to me. my mum has no knowledge of computers and complictaed programs i was using, but she always comes and helps out in these situations, and we finally figured it out. my dad always does this he says there or get that with no good description and then starts swearing at me. today a friend came over, and we were laughing when we were playing minecraft on this server, and the timer on the hunger games reset everyone was like wtf, and we laughed our pants off. this happened 3 times when i was having a god time with a friend and laughing, he yells shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i hear the sound of the roof cracking from how loud his voice was. he always does this. the only times when he is in a good mood, is when he goes and sees motor bikes or when i have to give him massage. he litterarly treets me like a slave! and sometimes when i give him a large amount of massages, i say to him when can u give the money? and hes like soon. and when it takes such a long time to do this my mum sgives money from what was supposed to be grocery money, coz she doesnt hav ea cjob only my dad does living her taking care of 3 childeren without rest. anyway she then pays me and he then gives me the money when i dont need it anymore and its normally half and he forgets the rest. he litterarly treats me and my mum like slaves! once my mum got so upset from a swear word my dad said to her, she said shes one day gonna pack he bags and leave, and she says this many times. but i donta want that to happen coz it wouldnt feel right. hopefully my dad changes soon. coz i donta know how long its gonna be untill i do the ultimate revolt and stand up for myself nig time, but i have done this quite a few times, and he. always proves me wrong in some way, since he did that in the past, but a day or 2 later he starts doin it again and then i dont have the courage to revolt again. and its very upsetting. ive started making my own vids of minecraft but since im underage to post on utube, i decided to make my own website, when my mum heard about this, straight away without thinking she gave me $50. i was like r u sure since once again it was out of her money and she always says yes. she laso came up with the idea of giving me money for every a and b i. get in my school report, and were does she get this money from? shopping money, again. im absolutely sick of this, its not like my dads king pharo or something and he gets slaves around the house. one day, one day ill make the ultimate revolt that he cant object. and may god help me and be with me when that day comes.
thanx 4 making me aware of what i am doing. i cried reading all the comments.
I was 14 years old when my Dad called the cops on me. The cop had told him its legal to hit or scream at the kid as long as u dnt step over the line.I surely do believe that because "timeouts " definitly DO NOT WRK. Especially with kids nowadays.
Hello,
Let me first start out by stating that my parents are wonderful people, they do a lot for me, but at the same time, they don't.
My dad is not very loving, at least not to me. He is all for being kind to my sister, 13, and my other one,2.
I'm 11, almost 12. Both of my parents are subject to emotional/verbal abuse, at least from what I've heard. My dad is the main contributor to the problem. I have very low self-esteem and it's all thanks to them. They scream cuss words, and all sorts of insults at me. I don't think they realize that it tears me apart and that I feel like I'm slowly, painfully dying. They are good parents, but they do not know how to treat their children. I love them to DEATH but It's hard to love someone when most of their words are spewed out in hatred.
Today, I realize that I did something wrong, but there is no excuse to this treatment.
My sister told my to sweep and mop the floors, because she had cleaned the counters and we are having someone over tomorrow, and I said "Well, I don't know how to sweep good, I never get all the dirt/debris"
She got mad and stormed downstairs to tell my dad. (this is the 13 year old)
She ended up doing it, but as she began to, I came downstairs to do it, not knowing she was already doing it, and asked what was going on. My dad got mad and said that I had to do something else, and the only other thing to do was to take down the Christmas decorations, well, I put them up and take them down every year, and I just am sick of having to do all the work putting it up and taking it down. And do you know what they say?!?!?!?!?!
They say "Well, you put it up."
That doesn't mean I should have to do all the work taking it down too!
Anyways, I didn't wan't to do the Christmas stuff and so I got in trouble and was sent to my room.
I came downstairs half an hour later to say sorry and to clean when my mother tells me all sorts of nasty things such as "Little Bitch" and "dirty asshole"
Wth!
I ran up to my room and packed a bag to run away. I have been dealing with this for too long now, and I need an escape.
After that, my dad got mad that I was gonna try to leave and called me selfish because I "didn't want to contribute" and blah blah blah.
He said after that that he would take me to CPS (child protection services) and drop me off to live with someone else. I don't know if he was kidding but I just didn't respond and stayed with my oldest sister,21, in her room for a while, until now when I got on my computer to see what to do, and whatever.
I really feel used and unappreciated.
They don't care though.
I'm not some sob story so don't go crying for me, but I'm seriously thinking about taking my own life. The pain is too harsh.
Anyways, my dad has said that if my parents get a divorce that he would leave me with my mom and stuff.
This is only one incident, but my dad is usually the one to be more abusive in the verbal area.
But it really makes me insecure and I just........want to die.
My parents fight all the time, and I'm so sorry to be saying all of this to the internet, but my loved ones need to realize that this is killing me.
I've already taken up too much of your time, I'm sorry, but I'm so upset with myself right now.
Goodbye,
internet.
For now I will go listen to inspirational music trying to raise my spirits, and confidence level.
DR OKAKAGBE BROUGH HAPPYNESS TO MY LIFE
what a wonderful world we are living, i still doubt this spell caster how he did it!!!
My mouth is full of testimony, Am sophie my husband left the home for two years to south Africa for a tourist,he meant a prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Acogbespelltemple@gmail.com and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive him, i,m so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband. is the best spell caster in the whole world.
DR OKAKAGBE BROUGH HAPPYNESS TO MY LIFE
what a wonderful world we are living, i still doubt this spell caster how he did it!!!
My mouth is full of testimony, Am sophie my husband left the home for two years to south Africa for a tourist,he meant a prostitute and he was bewitch by the girl my husband refuse to come back home again, i cry day and night looking for who to help me, i read a news paper about a powerful spell caster called Acogbespelltemple@gmail.com and i contacted the spell caster to help me get my lover back to me and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods we fight for me.. he told me by mid-night when all the spirit is at rest he will cast a spell to reunite my lover back to me. and he did in less than 3 days my husband came back to me and started crying that i should for forgive him, i,m so happy for what this spell caster did for me and my husband. is the best spell caster in the whole world.
I am so sorry that you and anyone else like you have been made out to feel you have no other choices. Please remember and I know its hard, that you are someone special even if you dont know it yet.
I am still surprised on how Dr.Zabaza was able to get my lover back to me within 48hours, The thing that surprises me most is that she now committed to me like never before. While what do i have to say than to thank God for making me come in contact with Dr.Zabaza. Contact Dr.Zabaza on zabazalogan@yahoo.com or call +2348182620374
APRIL
UNITED KINGDOM
what should a 17 year old kid do? I woke up this morning had breakfast and did my project without being told to. I think that was good of me because there are so many kids in my classes that are too lazy to do their projects and make no effort at all in school. So it was 10:30 and I still had on my PJ's, but so did my mom until a minute before when she got a shower so I don't understand why she came out of the shower and said "Why do you still have your f****** pyjamas on" To tell you the honest truth I had my clothes ready on my bed so that as soon as mom was done in the shower I could get a shower. After I got a hot shower, I called my mom on it and she said she was stressed and kept cursing at me. I started counting out loud at how many times she told me to f*** off or shut up! She still kept cursing at me. I don't know what to do This happens once every month... I think it's when she's on her period...and she yells at everyone in my family. I have tried sooo many different things that i don't know what to do... I have cried when she cursed at me and she kept cursing, I have yelled at her and of course that didn't help, I have kept a blank face and that didn't help. Just last night we were at my cousins and my cousin(9 years old) and I were singing to some songs on the radio and she yelled at us because we weren't being professional enough with our voices (I guess that's how you would explain it, we were singing with the radio and she said YOU SOUND LIKE THE PEOPLE ON AMERICAN IDOL WHEN THEY SING LIKE THEY ARE LISTENING TO THE RADIO! and then she made really annoying noises trying to immitate what we sounded like when we were singing, We were just having fun singing and dancing and she ruined it because we were smiling and laughing.)
She has also done this to me my whole life-> when we are eating as a family with younger cousins and I am done eating first I get up like a good kid to clean my plate and put it away and everytime she says Stay sitting down and of course I explain what I'm doing and she says okay but your cousins aren't done eating yet stay sitting. (she's said this so often I think I know by now and if I wanted to bad enough I could be moving away for university next year instead of listening to her say Stay at the table! Then she tells me to thank people and honestly I am a gracious kid... I thank my bus driver everyday just for doing his job and driving me to school! Normally when she says this I already had thanked the person and I say "I already did" and she says "you did though did you" like she thinks I'm lying ... could you imagine if I was any other seventeen year old at my school! most of them drink or do drugs or both! I simply do my projects while wearing PJ's and clean my plate after I eat and say thank you!
what should a 17 year old kid do? I woke up this morning had breakfast and did my project without being told to. I think that was good of me because there are so many kids in my classes that are too lazy to do their projects and make no effort at all in school. So it was 10:30 and I still had on my PJ's, but so did my mom until a minute before when she got a shower so I don't understand why she came out of the shower and said "Why do you still have your f****** pyjamas on" To tell you the honest truth I had my clothes ready on my bed so that as soon as mom was done in the shower I could get a shower. After I got a hot shower, I called my mom on it and she said she was stressed and kept cursing at me. I started counting out loud at how many times she told me to f*** off or shut up! She still kept cursing at me. I don't know what to do This happens once every month... I think it's when she's on her period...and she yells at everyone in my family. I have tried sooo many different things that i don't know what to do... I have cried when she cursed at me and she kept cursing, I have yelled at her and of course that didn't help, I have kept a blank face and that didn't help. Just last night we were at my cousins and my cousin(9 years old) and I were singing to some songs on the radio and she yelled at us because we weren't being professional enough with our voices (I guess that's how you would explain it, we were singing with the radio and she said YOU SOUND LIKE THE PEOPLE ON AMERICAN IDOL WHEN THEY SING LIKE THEY ARE LISTENING TO THE RADIO! and then she made really annoying noises trying to immitate what we sounded like when we were singing, We were just having fun singing and dancing and she ruined it because we were smiling and laughing.)
She has also done this to me my whole life-> when we are eating as a family with younger cousins and I am done eating first I get up like a good kid to clean my plate and put it away and everytime she says Stay sitting down and of course I explain what I'm doing and she says okay but your cousins aren't done eating yet stay sitting. (she's said this so often I think I know by now and if I wanted to bad enough I could be moving away for university next year instead of listening to her say Stay at the table! Then she tells me to thank people and honestly I am a gracious kid... I thank my bus driver everyday just for doing his job and driving me to school! Normally when she says this I already had thanked the person and I say "I already did" and she says "you did though did you" like she thinks I'm lying ... could you imagine if I was any other seventeen year old at my school! most of them drink or do drugs or both! I simply do my projects while wearing PJ's and clean my plate after I eat and say thank you!
I yelled at son today, cursed and even called him a derogatory name. I was fed up with his crying and tantrum throwing. I COMPLETELY lost it and this wasnt the first time. I feel so ashamed that it is me throwing the tantrum and it is me,the adult, acting like a child. I want to change. I want peace, I want self control but most of all I want to be a better parent. I LOVE MY KIDS MORE THAN ANYTHING. I would never physically abuse my kids although I know it is not acceptable to verbally lash out either . I am a good person but my angry prevents me from being a great person and a great person is what I want to be for my kids and to bring peace to our home. I PRAY I CAN CHANGE. J.B. in San Diego Ca.
READING ALL OF THESE POSTS AND COMMENTS GIVES ME HOPE. J.B. SAN DIEGO CA.
The tank photos are awesome. I like this types of post.
Thanks......
fostering agencies
I now know im not alone and am going to seek help to change asap for my whole familys sake.
I now know im not alone and am going to seek help to change asap for my whole familys sake.
Hang in there buddy.....I would def talk to the school counselor about your living situation hon. Dont do anything to yoirsrlf. Your parents are sick and you deserve better. God bless you.
after going through with all the comments I felt guilty and not guilty all at the same time.Im thankful for the guilt, for it gave me the chance for self introspection.. rethinking and doing something to mend what I and some experts have said on the ways I've raised my kids.I have 6 and 7 year old kids. My OBGYNE told me to prepare myself and be ready for the worst when I was pregnant with the 2nd child. The prophetic announcement of the OBGYNE became evident when my kids were about 3 and 4 years old and the daily routine appparently started and ended with the two of them shouting, hitting, kicking from things they dont want to share with each other and me and my husband losing the temper we likewise ended up yelling at each other and hitting the kids when they seem to ignore our warnings and pleadings.We've done this for countless of times and have realized it isnt working at all. I ended up being oversensitive of what the neighborhood has to say and disliked in so many ways I can think of. After doing so many researches and trying to extract and personally apply it, i've concluded with all sincerity that for as long as we recognize our own mistakes and we did everything in our capacity to mend our ways no matter how grave it was in the past , and we did it simply because we needed the change for our loved ones... then and only then can we truly say that we are on the road to happiness. It may take sometime to master the changes..., and people wont believe you, but if we are doing it with commitment and faith that Up there He is guiding us, we can make impossible things possible no matter how difficult it seem to be. So from this day onwards.. I have chosen to apply a different disciplinary approach to my kids...loving and caring but never too yielding and complacent.
Great thanks to Dr Egbon Golden who help me bring back my ex girlfriend......
My name is john, am from London i was in love with a girl called recheal will both love each other very much, to cult the story short something happen she left me for another man, i love her so much that i always want to be with her she left me just because i don't have enough money i beg her to come back but she refuse i tried all my possible best to get her but the more i try is the more i lose her, so i have know choice than to contact a spell caster this was really bad almost all the spell casters scam me and collected my money this was very serious so i contacted one again and i said to my self how long will i continue to be losing money that i don't even have, but when i contacted this email address called icandoshrinetemple i told him everything about my girlfriend and how i lost my money he fill pity he was ready to help me he told me that my girlfriend we come back to me and she we be my forever so i did not trust him when he was telling me, all i thought was that he want to also scam me and collect my money but i just give him a try and it was my last bus stop, i do all the necessary thing he told me to do after then i ask when is she coming back he said i should just relays and wait so i do but i was very panicky in 7days time she called me on phone and was begging me to let her come back i accepted her immediately because i love her so much, what would i have done if not for this man, he have prove that not all the spell caster are scam he is a real man, so that is how i got my ex girlfriend back.
Am telling you all out their if there is anybody who can help you is no other person than Dr Egbon Golden his email address is (icandoshrinetemple@gmail.com) he have help so many people i have benefit from it myself and this is the time you will also benefit from him know matter what the problem is and if you are contacting him, tell him your problems and he we be ready to help you.
Thank you so much Dr.
My name is Ruiz from UK I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, I was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Lucy told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Dr samura. I email Dr sanura the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr fuma for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is (mosthighsolutionstemple@gmail.com) you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family too
Phone number:+2348073212869
Hello, all. It's really good to hear that I'm not the only parent struggling with how to treat our children. I'm a father of three kids: 5, 4, and 2 yrs of age. All boys, crazy, wild, and loud little boys. I feel like I'm a good man most of the time, like when I'm at work and around other adults. I try to be an honest and hard-working individual. The problem only begins when I am around my children. I snap at them for the smallest things, yelling and swearing at them. Even tonight i told my 5 yr old to "shut the f*** up" for lying to my wife about something i didn't even do. Man, afterwards i feel like garbage, or maybe even that stinky gelatinous stuff at the bottom of the garbage. My wife is pissed at me, of course. I have had ongoing issues with my lack-luster parenting skills, which she always points out. I want to blame my upbringing, but at the same time I want use my upbringing to treat them better. I get mad at my kids, but afterwards I'm even more angry with myself. I love my boys, each one. They are my reason for living and I speak to them so badly. Children their age shouldn't have to deal with a parent guilt-tripping them for something that they did, a thing that they hardly understand in the first place. My middle son is a lot like me, and seeing it first hand makes me want to keep him from being like me and when I can't I get really frustrated and take it out on him. It's not his fault that he is different than other kids (they say he may have a form of Autism, maybe Asperger's, but the tests have been going on for years, often restarting because of our moves to different bases). I just want my kids to have a semi-normal life, yes with ups and downs, but without my abusive and degrading yelling and swearing. I love those boys. It's never to late to change, I'm told. Here's to that *cheers* I seriously hope I can conquer my negative behavior towards them. Thanks, all, for your posts; It's really helps me knowing I'm not alone in this.
“I have many problems in my life and have been to so many spell casters with no results and as a result of this, I ended up in a huge debt.One day I used internet and felt some kind of strange but kind and gentle force as if someone was guiding me to search for spell casters. I can’t remember the words I typed in the search engine but I was directed to Dr.gboco gbocotemple@yahoo.com And that was it! I felt so lucky to have found his email It all happened so naturally and easily and I am glad it did. No words can express the feeling I had.Despite all the bad experiences I had with FAKE spell casters on the internet in the past, nothing could stop me from reaching my dreams, so I ordered a spell from Dr.gboco. I had sleepless nights and was was very worried because I promised myself I won’t approach a spell caster for help but did as it was time for me to help myself, stop crying and stop feeling sorry for myself.I also knew there was someone out there who is capable of helping me.
First of all,Am just short of words i don't know what to say,am so grateful to Dr Love for what he has done for me at first i thought he was a scam,But i just decided to contact him then he told me that my lover will be back to my arms within 48hours.Really when the 48hours completed my lover called me and said he was sorry,i was so happy that my lover who left me for over 4years called me,Now we are together he can't do without me he always wants me to be by his side.now he love's me and he does not want anything to hurt me anymore.My lover even bought me a new car and a gold wristwatch.And now i also have access to his account to prove that he will never leave me alone am so happy all thanks goes to Dr Love .if you want to contact him for help here his is private mail Drlovespellcaster@yahoo. com or Tel : +2348038096203
Name : Stacey
Country:Arizona USA
I never believe in love spells until i experience Inelospelltemple, and after she cast a love spell for me, my boyfriend called me to apologize for the pain that he has caused me and till today we are living a happy family, and she brought joy to my relationship. once again thanks to Inelospellcaster for the wonderful works that she has done for me.And if you are experiencing any problem with your partner, i will advise that you contact inelospellcaster and i assure you that she will help you. Email: inelospelltemple@gmail.com
or meet me in skype, ogaga .odanga2
am clone
I want to testify of what a spell caster did for me and my hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of pregnancy.I went off birth control then and did not have a period.my gyro gave me progesterone to jump-start a period and it did.,but i did not have another one.we did another round of progesterone followed by 100mg clomid for 5 months,we followed all doctors instructions but all to no avail.I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i finally got 3 test when i was ovulating! So ever since that we been trying for years now! Well i was very confused because i keep taking ept test AND they all keep turning out to b negative! I really want a baby girl while my hubby want a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we are just trying So hard, What i can tell you is that its been so many years now and i still yet do not have my period??nobody to help because every body around us was already at the verge of losing their faith on us.no were to run to until one faithful day i was reading a magazine and i stumble on a page were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL CASTER} who can heal someone from HIV AND AIDS,bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST,help you win a VISA LOTTERY,losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS AND flatten your BELLY,I gave him a try and before i could no it PROPHET DUMEDU rescued me from my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go and make love with my hubby,then i did,and after nine months i delivered a twins A BOY AND A GIRL. just as prophet DUMEDU said.This spell caster name is PROPHET DUMEDU so many people have witness his wonderful work..He is nice, contact him on dumeduspelltemple@GMAIL.COM if you are in any predicament email him immediately without doubts•Thanks so very much!!
FROM RIHANA
I think more people "lose it" with their kids than care to admit. I have a quick and sharp tongue. I am divorced from their narcissitic dad and he doesn't coparent with me, so the kids rebel against my rules. The thing that sets me off is their mouths. So, ironically, I shoot mine off and i know I can say meaner things. Still, all of my kids are ADHD and that truly tests a person as they are irritable more than most children and pick fights with each other and talk back. Truly, yelling and cursing is a last resort for which parents feel terrible. I think I do so many things right and feel like I'd like to set a better example, but in the grand scheme I am doing so much more right. All I can say is "work on it". That is what I try to do. I hope to leave that behavior in the past. It has gotten better, I do not think your children need taken away b/c you cursed at them. Geesh! It isn't you at your best, but you also are meeting all of their needs. So, relax...isn't that what brings this on anyway, that we are stressed out and our children then test us at our weakest moment? I know my ex causes stress with his parenting or lack of and his legal games he pulls and his brainwashing of the kids to hate me....so, yes, I lash out when they throw up to me that their dad's house is better. Their dad's house is a dump that the health department would condemn...so nasty b/c he is a hoarder, he is also a transsexual and lives with a transsexual...these things are far more harmful to my children and stressful to me than my words. Still, I feel I have to hold myself to perfection and not mess up at all. Then my behavior is held under the microscope so the transsexual can claim he/she is a better parent or home with his lover he is not married to who has two felony arrests and one charge of resisting arrest. Who has an anger issue? My dad used to scare the doo doo outta me when he was mad, and my mom too. But their profanity was not as bad, I think we are exposed to more cutting words on a daily basis in our society then we feel terrible when we use them with our kids. I am letting go of the guilt, appologizing once more to the kids and letting them be part of helping me, as I also help them...with the understanding we all love each other and we won't ever get to perfect. I think calling it child abuse is over the top. Sure it is wrong, but abuse is persistant and ongoing neglect and hurtful actions. We are talking here about losing it b/c of super stress accompanied by disobedience or lip from your kid. Special needs kids and their families and those with behavioral or other disorders need a little slack, how many times has the mom and dad of an asperger or ADHD kid held their tongue in patience and tried to teach executive function skills, etc. Guilt is a gut check, check it and improve on it. I do think apologizing is a must and my son says it helps b/c his dad never appologizes for his outbursts or the things he is left feeling low priority to.
I feel like the kids who harbor such grudges to their well-intentioned kids are being really immature and might be missing out on a great relationship with the folks that could emerge with forgiveness. It's okay to tell them although they were the best they could be they hurt you at times but that you want a good relationship as an adult. As children we cannot know what our parents went through raising us. My parents dealt with potentially losing me to disease, with my brother's theiving and other bad behaviors, with their own financial concerns from pay cuts and I am sure they loved us dearly, then we did some screwball thing that tipped them over the edge.
I may never forget a few instances of anger with my folks, but I do understand that it is like a rain cloud...just like the sun is still there after the rain is gone, the love is still there once anger passes.
Changing behavior takes time...Letting kids know you are working on it is a good start.
My husband was planning on filing for divorce, he’d left me for a younger woman, typical story, but three months on, your spell led him to come back to me and put ideas of divorce behind us thanks Esango priest. You can also get your ex back through Esango priest contact him via his email: esangopriest@hotmail.com
i have work hard and tried everything i could to get my lover back but nothing works out for me to get him back, till i came across a great man profile called Priest Oduma a love spell caster that helped me get my lover back to me within the period of 2days i want to say with his great power he has save so many lifes and relationship he was the only man i contacted and his magic really brought my ex back for in case you need his help for your relationship to be restored you can call his mobile +2348153363047 or email him via his email address
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BRIZZ LUKE
USA
i have work hard and tried everything i could to get my lover back but nothing works out for me to get him back, till i came across a great man profile called Priest Oduma a love spell caster that helped me get my lover back to me within the period of 2days i want to say with his great power he has save so many lifes and relationship he was the only man i contacted and his magic really brought my ex back for in case you need his help for your relationship to be restored you can call his mobile +2348153363047 or email him via his email address
spellofsolution@gmail.com
I AM REALLY PLEASED I FINALLY GOT MY EX BACK ALL THANKS TO PRIEST ODUMA
BRIZZ LUKE
USA
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