7:41 am
Megan Bayliss
Imaginif…you knew what to do if your child disclosed sexual abuse.
Child sexual assault is against the law. Don’t keep it to yourself. First, believe your child and then TELL someone in a position to help you. Telling about child sexual abuse helps to end the prevalence figure of one in three. Child sexual abuse WILL CONTINUE if we don’t all take responsibility and tell someone when it has occurred. Tell the school principal, your local doctor, the police, a friend, the local Welfare agency. TELL SOMEONE who will help you.
It is not your responsibility to investigate and prove any disclosures of sexual abuse. Leave this to the Police or to the welfare agency in your state tasked with the responsibility of investigation. It is your responsibility to protect, believe and support your child.
Never approach the alleged perpetrator of the child sexual abuse. Focus on your child. Protect them. Minimize contact between them and the alleged abuser.
Talk, talk, talk to your child. Bust the secret right open. Apologise to your child for not having known that it happened and regain your child’s trust and confidence. Reassure your child that you will do something to stop it from ever happening again.
Allow your child to sleep in your bedroom if they feel scared or insecure. Your child needs to know that you are indeed a safe person and that you can, and will protect them.
After the police or the local welfare agency has interviewed your child, take your child to a child sexual abuse therapist. Talking about the sexual abuse helps to clear the child’s mind and allows them another avenue of being heard and believed.
Surround your family with supportive people. People who doubt or blame you are not helpful to your child’s recovery. This is a great time to increase your family’s support network and to train all of your children in protective behaviours.
Imaginif…we wiped out sexual abuse by telling someone when it happens. Sexual predators demand secrecy. Take away the secrecy and we make the predators think twice about sexually abusing another child.
Recommended subscription to a FREE newsletter on child safety: Kidproof.
Related blog from families.com: The Grooming Process of a Child Sexual Predator.
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2 Response to "What Can I Do if My Child Tells Me Someone Has Done Bad “Sex” Things to Them?"
Megan. Your articles are as always, informative, educational and empowering. Am wondering about taking child to therapist immediately following disclosure. Negative as sounds, this needs to be discussed with police and or Statutory Child Protection Agency workers prior to action. Certain types of therapeutic intervention may actually contaminate some verbal statements already given by child if further statements are required. A skilled therapist can indeed not only offer a child release from fear and shame thus enabling the healing process to comence but can also provide appropriate support for the child during any time of further statement requirements. Parents and other carers need to know how to best appropriate this in the best interests of the child and the coming legal process. Hope my thoughts and concerns are not misunderstood. Mum. XX
Thanks for clearly pointing that out. It is an area that many parents are confused about and cannot understand why they can't take their child immediately. The article does say: "After the police or the local welfare agency has interviewed your child, take your child to a child sexual abuse therapist. Talking about the sexual abuse helps to clear the child’s mind and allows them another avenue of being heard and believed."
Of course, parents need to check with the Police or the Statutory body to make sure the verbal and cognitive evidence is not at risk of contamination.
I look forward to more parents supporting their kids by reporting disclosures of child sexual abuse. This is the only way to stop this curse on society.
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